On Being Born at the Right Time

水之积也不厚,则负大舟也无力;风之积也不厚,则其负大翼也无力,宏大志向固然需宏大时代的托举;然而北雁南飞,不因风雨而停歇,绝壁竹柏,不因险峻而凋零,生不逢时,亦可逆流而上。
生逢其时,则顺势而为,居安思危。
生逢其时,或身处安宁而有机遇的时代,或得遇赏识之人得以施展才华。逢盛世,纵使尧舜治世、文景之治,仍有四凶之诛、七国之乱,需皋陶德法并进、晁错献计献策。盛世并非无忧,更要怀有警觉之心。遇伯乐,也不过初出茅庐、少年得志。诸葛亮受刘备三顾之恩,得以一展经论,最终鞠躬尽瘁,征战途中离去;贾谊年二十便受重用,文采斐然,却因谗言被贬,忧郁而终。所谓“逢时”,好似风中之影,也需审时度势才能稳行致远。泰极而否,若贪图一时,则天时地利也难逃厄运。
生不逢时,也坚定己志,死而后已。
孔子厄于陈蔡,作《春秋》;屈子放逐,着《离骚》;西伯拘羑里,演《周易》。不因其“时”改其“志”,先贤在逆境中也砥砺前行,终成不朽之功。近代亦然。生于清末民初,国运衰微,鲁迅以笔为刃,唤醒国民;身处冷战夹缝,钱学森突破重重阻力,铸就“两弹一星”。知其不可为而为之,不为“时”所桎梏,成为暮霭中的启明星。
与时俱化,顺应本心,勿为时所缚。
宋荣子举世誉之而不加功,举世非之而不加沮,生逢盛世也会遭遇变革,生不逢时也会有转折,与其迎合他人之评价,更要找到自我之志。庐山之中,每人都在面对未知,逢时与否难以评判。而鲲鱼不怨湖水之深浅,鹏鸟不怨风之薄厚,浅水亦蓄力,弱风亦待时。令渊明逢唐盛世,或仍归隐,乃心向丘山;使屈子遇唐太宗,未必颂盛世,是心忧隐患。可见,生逢其时,固可乐;生不逢时,亦可乐。志不在时,而在于心。
行于所当行,止于不可不止,岂为时代所裹挟?心之所向,素履以往。

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墨鱼游同学的这篇大作文,读来如沐春风,颇有“行云流水,自然成文”之感啊!在“生逢其时”这个题目下,能写出这般層次分明、哲思深邃的文章,可见你不仅深谙立论之道,更对“生”与“时”的关系有着独到而深刻的见解。:clap:

分級與總分:一類文(優秀)48/50

分級理由:
本文緊扣題意,對“生逢其時”的理解不流於表面,而是深入探討了其內涵與外延,並辯證分析了個體意志與時代際遇的關係。論據豐富典型,論證嚴謹有力,語言表達典雅流暢,展現了高水準的寫作能力與思想深度。

維度打分與點評:

  1. 立意內容:19/20

    • 優勢: 你開篇便以《莊子》中“水之積也不厚,則負大舟也無力”的意象,巧妙引出宏大志向與時代托舉的關係,隨即話鋒一轉,提出“生不逢時,亦可逆流而上”的辯證觀點,立意高遠。後續關於“生逢其時”的“居安思危”和“生不逢時”的“死而後已”的闡述,都體現了你對題目的豐富理解。尤其是在文章末尾,你引宋榮子“舉世譽之而不加功,舉世非之而不加沮”的例子,並指出“志不在時,而在于心”,這不僅點明了文章的核心思想,更將討論從客觀的“時”提升到了主觀的“心”與“志”的高度,這份哲學思辨的光芒,實屬難得。
    • 不足: 論述已經非常全面,若要更臻完美,或許可以再考慮,在闡述“志不在時,而在于心”時,是否能再多加一筆,強調個體“心”的力量,也需在不斷的“行”中得以錘鍊和顯現,畢竟“道雖邇,不行不至”嘛。
  2. 材料組織:9/10

    • 優勢: 論據的選擇和運用都非常精準。你既能援引堯舜、文景之治來論證盛世之下的潛藏危機,又能用諸葛亮與賈誼的際遇對比,來點明“逢時”背後的“審時度勢”之重。孔子、屈原、西伯的困厄而著,魯迅、錢學森在亂世中逆流而上,這些例子都是經典且極具說服力。特別值得稱讚的是,你直接引用了《莊子·逍遙遊》中宋榮子的典故,這不僅說明你對所學教材內容融會貫通,更能將其自然地融入論證,使得文章的文化底蘊和說服力倍增。
    • 不足: 這些論據固然精彩,但若能在個別案例的引入或過渡上,再多一些巧思,或許能讓行文的節奏感更具變化。當然,這只是錦上添花的建議,無傷大雅。
  3. 結構層次:10/10

    • 優勢: 文章結構清晰嚴謹,層次感極強。從開篇立論,到分別論述“生逢其時”與“生不逢時”兩種境況,再到最後昇華主題,探討“勿為時所縛,志在于心”的哲理,環環相扣,步步推進。每一段的開頭句都精煉有力,如同路標一般指引讀者深入。各段之間的銜接自然流暢,沒有生硬的轉折詞,而是通過內容的邏輯遞進來實現過渡,這正是議論文結構的最高境界。
  4. 語言表達:10/10

    • 優勢: 你的語言充滿了古典的雅緻與力量。詞語運用精煉考究,如“宏大志向”、“逆流而上”、“砥礪前行”、“暮靄中的啟明星”、“素履以往”、“豈為時代所裹挾”等,都恰到好處地增強了文章的表現力。句式長短結合,富於變化,使得閱讀體驗極佳,既有磅礴的氣勢,又不失細膩的表達。尤其是一些比喻和引用的運用,如“好似風中之影”以及對先賢言行的概括,都展現了你高超的文字駕馭能力。

總體建議:
墨鱼游同学,你的這篇文章如同一幅精心繪製的山水畫卷,不僅構圖精妙,用色也極為考究。你對“生逢其時”的理解,已然超越了許多同學對此概念的淺層認識,能夠從儒道互補的視角去詮釋“時”與“心”的關係,這份深度值得點讚!

如果你想挑戰更高層次,或許可以再琢磨一下,如何在論述“居安思危”和“逆流而上”的同時,巧妙地融入一些更具時代感、更貼近我們當下生活的元素。畢竟,我們身處的時代,科技日新月異,信息瞬息萬變,這“時”的變與不變,又如何影響我們的“心”和“志”呢?這就像《紅樓夢》裡,寶玉在怡紅院大觀園裡自在逍遙,不也得面對大廈將傾的變局嗎?如何在“心之所向”的同時,又能在現實的“時”中找到真正的“立足點”,讓“素履以往”的路走得更堅實,這或許是文章可以再思考的方向。但無論如何,這都是一篇佳作,繼續保持這份對文字的熱情和對思想的求索,你一定能寫出更多震人心魄的好文章!:+1:

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If the accumulation of water is not great, it lacks the power to support a large boat;

A grand ambition certainly requires the uplift of a grand era;

However, geese flying south do not stop because of wind and rain, and bamboo and cypress on sheer cliffs do not wither because of their perilous location.

Even if born at an unfavorable time, one can still go against the current.

Both favorable and unfavorable times have their uses. Therefore, even when the wind is at your back in prosperous times, one should be mindful of danger; in adverse times, one can forge a path against the current. But there are also more resolute individuals who will reshape an era.

If born at a favorable time, one should go with the flow and be mindful of danger in times of peace.

Being born at a favorable time means either living in an era of peace and opportunity, or meeting someone who appreciates your talent, allowing you to display it.

Even in golden ages, such as the reigns of Yao and Shun or Wen and Jing, there were still the executions of the Four Felons and the Rebellion of the Seven States, requiring Gao Yao’s blend of virtue and law, and Chao Cuo’s strategic advice. A prosperous age is not without worries; one must maintain a vigilant heart. Meeting a patron (Bo Le) is merely the beginning, a youthful success. Zhuge Liang, favored by Liu Bei’s three visits, was able to display his theories, ultimately dedicating himself until death, departing during a campaign; Jia Yi, at twenty, was greatly entrusted and brilliantly talented, yet was demoted due to slander and died in sorrow.

The so-called “favorable time” is like a shadow in the wind; one must assess the situation to proceed steadily and far.

Extremes reverse; if one is greedy for a moment, even favorable timing and geographical advantage cannot escape misfortune.

If born at an unfavorable time, one should still hold firm to one’s resolve, even unto death.

To do what one knows cannot be done, not to be constrained by “time,” becoming a morning star in the twilight.

Adapt with the times, follow your true self, and do not be bound by time. Create the momentum to make your time.

Song Rongzi was neither elated by universal praise nor discouraged by universal criticism. Even in prosperous times, one encounters change; even in unfavorable times, there are turning points. Rather than catering to others’ evaluations, it is more important to find one’s true self. In Mount Lu, everyone faces the unknown, and whether it is a favorable time is difficult to judge. Yet the Kun fish does not complain about the depth of the lake, nor does the Peng bird complain about the weakness of the wind; even in shallow water, it gathers strength; even with weak wind, it waits for its time.

If Tao Yuanming had lived in the prosperous Tang Dynasty, he might still have retired to the mountains, for his heart yearned for the hills.

If Qu Yuan had met Emperor Taizong of Tang, he might not have praised the golden age, for his heart was worried about hidden dangers.

Thus, being born at a favorable time can be joyful; being born at an unfavorable time can also be joyful. Ambition lies not in the time, but in the heart.

If the accumulation of wind is not great, it lacks the power to support large wings. From the general trend of the era, to choices of safety and danger, to steadfastness and even creating the situation.

Do what should be done, stop where one must stop. Why be swept away by the times? Go where your heart leads, with simple steps.

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墨鱼游同学,看到你的修订稿,真有种批阅奏折的感觉,留白处尽是“待朕亲批”的意味啊。你这是把文章的骨架给我送来了,还特意在最关键的血肉部分标注了“此处应有掌声”和“全西方例子”,是想考考为师的素材库,还是想让我给你写个范例呀?:wink:

你这份“蓝图”很有意思,能看出你在认真咀嚼我上次的建议,并且有了更高远的追求。从单纯讨论“顺时”与“逆时”,到提出“造勢成時”的境界,这份思想上的跃升,足以证明你没有停留在原地。这让我想起孔夫子那句“人能弘道,非道弘人”,真正的强者,从来不只是被动地接受时代,而是主动地去塑造时代。你抓住了这个核心,文章的立意就立刻拔高了一层。

既然你把“填空题”出到了我这里,那为师就当仁不让,帮你勾画几笔,看看能否激发你的灵感。关于“生不逢时,也坚定己志”这部分,你想用西方例子来拓展视野,这个想法很好。与其空言,不如我们来试试看:

比如,你可以这样构思:深谙此理,马丁·路德·金在种族隔离的铁幕下游说奔走,以非暴力抗争的信念,为无数心灵点燃了追求平等的灯塔;艾伦·图灵于偏见与迫害的阴影下解码未来,于无声处听惊雷,用天才的计算为冰冷的机器注入了思考的灵魂。他们不正是“不为时所桎梏”,于黑暗中“造就时势”的“启明星”吗?这样的例子,既能支撑你的论点,又能与前文的中国先贤形成互文,展现出一种跨越文化的人类精神共鸣。

关于本次作业:

因为这次提交的是一份充满潜力的蓝图,而非最终的成品,我就暂不给出具体分数了。毕竟,我们不能用评价设计图的标准去衡量一座尚未建成的殿堂,对吧?等你将这些留白填满,将血肉丰盈起来,再来挑战那48分甚至更高的山峰,我拭目以待。

总體建議:

你的文章现在就像一块烧得通红的铁胚,“造勢成時”这个新立意就是那把千钧重锤。你已经找到了最好的锻打方向,接下来就是把这锤子一下下砸实了。

去吧,把你的“西方例子”填充进去,让文章的论证更加坚实、视野更加开阔。我相信,经过你的精心雕琢,这不仅仅是一篇优秀的高考作文,更会是一篇闪耀着你独立思考光芒的佳作。期待你的完成稿!

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Sure, here are some examples of Western culture:

  • Democracy: Originating from ancient Greece, it’s a political system where citizens exercise power directly or elect representatives.
  • Christianity: A major religion with roots in the Middle East, it spread widely throughout Europe and influenced many aspects of Western society, including art, law, and ethics.
  • Renaissance Art: A period in European history (roughly 14th to 17th century) that saw a rebirth of classical art and learning, with famous artists like Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo.
  • Enlightenment Philosophy: An intellectual and cultural movement of the 18th century that emphasized reason, individualism, and skepticism, influencing modern political thought and scientific inquiry.
  • Classical Music: A broad term referring to music produced in, or rooted in the traditions of Western liturgical and secular music, encompassing periods from Baroque to Romantic, with composers like Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven.
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好的,墨鱼游同学。既然你对“西方例子”这么感兴趣,那为师的“百宝箱”可就藏不住了。上次提到的马丁·路德·金和图灵,是于逆境中坚守信念的典范,但若要论“造勢成時”,下面这几位“逆行者”或许也能给你一些启发:

深谙此理,但丁于流亡的凄风苦雨中构筑神曲的殿堂,以托斯卡纳方言为基石,不仅为意大利文学奠定了不朽的丰碑,更用信仰之光刺破了中世纪的漫漫长夜;梵高于生前的寂寥与贫困中燃烧自己的灵魂,在写给弟弟提奥的信中剖白对艺术的赤诚,最终用画布上的星空与麦浪,为后世开辟了一条通往永恒美的崎岖小径;蕾切尔·卡森在化学工业巨头的围剿与诋毁中写下寂静的春天,以一己之力,唤醒了整个世界对生命家园的责任与警觉,为现代环保主义鸣响了第一声嘹亮的号角。

你看,这些例子不是孤立的,它们都在讲述同一个故事:真正强大的人,不是等待“时”来,而是自己去“造”时。你选哪几个,如何将他们和你文章的骨血融为一体,就看你的巧思了。去吧,让你的文章也成为一股不可忽视的“势”!

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